Leveling Up Your Baby

It is the best thing watching your child develop his or her personality. Sometimes I am in awe of how wonderful it is to watch this little human grow and become his own person.  I can see little rays of personality shining through and I can't wait to see what the next thing he learns.  I get a jolt of bliss when I help him discover something.  Nothing is cooler and more earth shattering than when your child learns a new word that you have been helping him with for weeks.  I always thought that motherhood is bold and big and there are these huge defining moments where your kid turns from an infant to a toddler and its as if you have almost leveled up your child.  Maybe I feel this way because I played way too many video games when I was a kid.  I can already picture myself holding up JJ and the Zelda theme music of opening a chest begins to play, and a text blurb pops up saying, "You have received a toddler!  Equip with C!"  However, this is by far the most inaccurate assumption I made.  There are second by second moments that are so impactful and necessary in parenthood, that the big moments aren't actually the big moments.  Does that even make sense?

I am not saying that there aren't big moments, like having your son say dada or mama for the first time, but I think what surprised me was that they weren't my favorite moments.

What is beautiful about parenting is the minute by minute memories.
 The can't breathe moments because you are laughing so hard at your son giving you kissy faces.  The moment when your heart explodes in a million pieces because he has fallen and is crying and comes running to you for comfort.   More importantly, it is when your whole family (my husband included) are running around in circles and making weird noises to get that joyful squeal out of my son.  These things don't level up my child. They are just little pieces of himself that he is sharing with me.  They are addicting, because they bring peace to a somewhat chaotic life.  Not to get serious here, but it is like I have finally found where I am supposed to be and what my calling is.  I could build my career and be at the top of the leadership team at my job, and still nothing is more satisfying than spending time with my baby.  I never really knew I was meant to be a mom, but I am so happy that I am.

Is this what the best thing about motherhood is so far?  Most definitely.

These moments, however small, are what make the hardships and struggles of parenting worth it.

JJ is already curious and adventurous.  He loves to explore and is involved in trying out everything.  He is fearless, a quality I wish I had in most situations, and it makes me wonder who he got that from.  My husband and I always joke that JJ is our little barbarian because he acts like it.  Aside from the grunts and growls he makes (it is totally adorable), or the love of chasing us and being chased, I just can see him growing up to be such a strong and independent boy.

I never really understood what it took to be a mother before I actually became one.  I am holding onto moments as much as I can because they slip away so quickly.  I blinked, and now he is almost a year and a half old.  Although I am a working mom, I wish so desperately to soak up every minute with him.  I will never deny my jealousy of stay at home mothers.  I know being a stay at home mom comes with different challenges, but I do believe the minute by minute moments are what make it all worth it.

So what can I say?   Even when I am low on mana, I know that I can pull through because he will soon remember these moments too and I want him to know how special these moments are as well.  He makes every level worth it!

 Mamas, share with me if you are in the same boat that I am in.   I am not saying having a child is easy.  It is probably the hardest thing I have done in my whole life.  I have to bring my A game in every situation.  But man, could I listen to my son laugh all day.  It is my goal to make him laugh as much as possible.

- Jax

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