Guys, before I became a mom I hate to admit that I was one of those people who judged moms. Like hardcore. I felt that I knew how motherhood would be and if it didn't look like my image of what motherhood was, I rolled my eyes along with my friends and gossiped that my children will never be that way. If it didn't pass what I thought the good mother qualifications were, I remember saying what I could do differently to make the situation run smoothly. Reality: I was stupid.
Now looking back I am embarrassed by myself. That is not to say that some parents don't need to be judged if their kid isn't being taken care of to the point where social services are needed, but man, I wish the older more "wiser" version of me could slap the dumber version of me. This also may bring on the robot apocalypse though, as I seriously would think I was in the movie terminator if my future self came back to give me advice.
All jokes aside, I wish someone had pointed out how naive I was being. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. I don't like to dwell in the past but as I say sometimes to my husband, I needed a reality check. We are all so quick to point the finger. It is so easy to look at someone and point out the flaws of their plan. Living in it and being a part of the day to day life of a mother is something entirely different. News alert: Motherhood is hard. Like Jon Snow facing the Night King hard. Except the Night King is actually depending on you for survival.
That was a weird twist.
Moms are superheroes. They legitimately let something destroy their body for 9-10 months, have it ripped out of them, get no sleep for three months (at least), are still expected to maintain relationships, go back to work (if she is a working mama like me), or keep her children alive by herself (if she is a stay at home mama), look presentable, and be the "best mom she can be." She is still expected to change diapers, get peed on, pooped on, put her children first above her own needs, use her body to feed her child every 3 hours, get no down time to do simple things like watching Netflix, and still be pestered by other social obligations that are now apparently required once you have a kid. Just typing it out is making me want to take a nap.
I charged myself to be more understanding this year, and to be nicer to people. The reason behind this is because I really thought that I had it all figured out before being in the actual shoes of a mother. I believe that mom's that look like they have it together actually don't, and the ones that don't look like they have it together actually have it more together than I thought. I never thought that I would be the mom that didn't brush her hair in the morning and just throw it in a bun, but alas that is something that happens way too often. For me personally, there are so many more things that matter than appearances. The best thing about having a kid is living in the moment with them, and crying profusely when they learn something new (Spoiler Alert: I am a crier).
So if you see a mom trying to deal with her kid having a melt down in the middle of the grocery store, please understand that you will NOT do better when you have a kid. I am telling you, as someone who has been in your shoes, that no you will not. Your kids will probably act the same way, and that is OKAY. We are all freaking HUMAN. Except Taylor Swift, who may be a robot. I mean seriously, Taylor Swift is looking more and more like number 6 in Battlestar Galactica, no? Just me?
That can be another topic for another time. Lets get back on track - moms. I just want you all to know that I have your back and I feel weirdly linked to all mother's now, as I too have been through parenthood and have come out the other side. We are now the brotherhood of motherhood, and we will do the best we can and maybe drink a lot of wine to deal with what we can't. We laugh when our kids pee on us and feel guilty if we make our kids cry. We over analyze ourselves way more than you ever will. So why not for once, choose kindness?
P.S. ladies and gents, did you see there is wine ice cream? Please comment below to let me know if it is good!
-Jaxxylake
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