Leveling Up Your Baby

It is the best thing watching your child develop his or her personality. Sometimes I am in awe of how wonderful it is to watch this little human grow and become his own person.  I can see little rays of personality shining through and I can't wait to see what the next thing he learns.  I get a jolt of bliss when I help him discover something.  Nothing is cooler and more earth shattering than when your child learns a new word that you have been helping him with for weeks.  I always thought that motherhood is bold and big and there are these huge defining moments where your kid turns from an infant to a toddler and its as if you have almost leveled up your child.  Maybe I feel this way because I played way too many video games when I was a kid.  I can already picture myself holding up JJ and the Zelda theme music of opening a chest begins to play, and a text blurb pops up saying, "You have received a toddler!  Equip with C!"  However, this is by far the most inaccurate assumption I made.  There are second by second moments that are so impactful and necessary in parenthood, that the big moments aren't actually the big moments.  Does that even make sense?

I am not saying that there aren't big moments, like having your son say dada or mama for the first time, but I think what surprised me was that they weren't my favorite moments.

What is beautiful about parenting is the minute by minute memories.
 The can't breathe moments because you are laughing so hard at your son giving you kissy faces.  The moment when your heart explodes in a million pieces because he has fallen and is crying and comes running to you for comfort.   More importantly, it is when your whole family (my husband included) are running around in circles and making weird noises to get that joyful squeal out of my son.  These things don't level up my child. They are just little pieces of himself that he is sharing with me.  They are addicting, because they bring peace to a somewhat chaotic life.  Not to get serious here, but it is like I have finally found where I am supposed to be and what my calling is.  I could build my career and be at the top of the leadership team at my job, and still nothing is more satisfying than spending time with my baby.  I never really knew I was meant to be a mom, but I am so happy that I am.

Is this what the best thing about motherhood is so far?  Most definitely.

These moments, however small, are what make the hardships and struggles of parenting worth it.

JJ is already curious and adventurous.  He loves to explore and is involved in trying out everything.  He is fearless, a quality I wish I had in most situations, and it makes me wonder who he got that from.  My husband and I always joke that JJ is our little barbarian because he acts like it.  Aside from the grunts and growls he makes (it is totally adorable), or the love of chasing us and being chased, I just can see him growing up to be such a strong and independent boy.

I never really understood what it took to be a mother before I actually became one.  I am holding onto moments as much as I can because they slip away so quickly.  I blinked, and now he is almost a year and a half old.  Although I am a working mom, I wish so desperately to soak up every minute with him.  I will never deny my jealousy of stay at home mothers.  I know being a stay at home mom comes with different challenges, but I do believe the minute by minute moments are what make it all worth it.

So what can I say?   Even when I am low on mana, I know that I can pull through because he will soon remember these moments too and I want him to know how special these moments are as well.  He makes every level worth it!

 Mamas, share with me if you are in the same boat that I am in.   I am not saying having a child is easy.  It is probably the hardest thing I have done in my whole life.  I have to bring my A game in every situation.  But man, could I listen to my son laugh all day.  It is my goal to make him laugh as much as possible.

- Jax

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The Brotherhood of Motherhood

Guys, before I became a mom I hate to admit that I was one of those people who judged moms.  Like hardcore.  I felt that I knew how motherhood would be and if it didn't look like my image of what motherhood was, I rolled my eyes along with my friends and gossiped  that my children will never be that way.  If it didn't pass what I thought the good mother qualifications were, I remember saying what I could do differently to make the situation run smoothly.  Reality: I was stupid.

Now looking back I am embarrassed by myself.  That is not to say that some parents don't need to be judged if their kid isn't being taken care of to the point where social services are needed, but man, I wish the older more "wiser" version of me could slap the dumber version of me.  This also may bring on the robot apocalypse though, as I seriously would think I was in the movie terminator if my future self came back to give me advice.

All jokes aside, I wish someone had pointed out how naive I was being.  As they say, hindsight is 20/20.  I don't like to dwell in the past but as I say sometimes to my husband, I needed a reality check.  We are all so quick to point the finger.  It is so easy to look at someone and point out the flaws of their plan.  Living in it and being a part of the day to day life of a mother is something entirely different. News alert: Motherhood is hard.  Like Jon Snow facing the Night King hard.  Except the Night King is actually depending on you for survival.

 

That was a weird twist.

Moms are superheroes.  They legitimately let something destroy their body for 9-10 months, have it ripped out of them, get no sleep for three months (at least), are still expected to maintain relationships, go back to work (if she is a working mama like me), or keep her children alive by herself (if she is a stay at home mama), look presentable, and be the "best mom she can be."  She is still expected to change diapers, get peed on, pooped on, put her children first above her own needs, use her body to feed her child every 3 hours, get no down time to do simple things like watching Netflix, and still be pestered by other social obligations that are now apparently required once you have a kid.  Just typing it out is making me want to take a nap.

I charged myself to be more understanding this year, and to be nicer to people.  The reason behind this is because I really thought that I had it all figured out before being in the actual shoes of a mother.  I believe that mom's that look like they have it together actually don't, and the ones that don't look like they have it together actually have it more together than I thought.  I never thought that I would be the mom that didn't brush her hair in the morning and just throw it in a bun, but alas that is something that happens way too often.   For me personally, there are so many more things that matter than appearances.  The best thing about having a kid is living in the moment with them, and crying profusely when they learn something new (Spoiler Alert: I am a crier).

So if you see a mom trying to deal with her kid having a melt down in the middle of the grocery store, please understand that you will NOT do better when you have a kid.  I am telling you, as someone who has been in your shoes, that no you will not.  Your kids will probably act the same way, and that is OKAY.  We are all freaking HUMAN.  Except Taylor Swift, who may be a robot.  I mean seriously, Taylor Swift is looking more and more like number 6 in Battlestar Galactica, no? Just me?



 That can be another topic for another time.  Lets get back on track - moms.  I just want you all to know that I have your back and I feel weirdly linked to all mother's now, as I too have been through parenthood and have come out the other side.  We are now the brotherhood of motherhood, and we will do the best we can and maybe drink a lot of wine to deal with what we can't.  We laugh when our kids pee on us and feel guilty if we make our kids cry.  We over analyze ourselves way more than you ever will.  So why not for once, choose kindness?

P.S. ladies and gents, did you see there is wine ice cream?  Please comment below to let me know if it is good!

-Jaxxylake
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